Of Paint and Purple Dinosaurs
by Jennifer Cannon
Summary: The Stetson family needs Barney to clean up after toddler Jenna's unplanned artwork.This story carries a 'sugar warning' read at your own risk or have your insulin at hand:
1. Chapter 1

***The usual disclaimers apply. Thanks to Annette for the initial idea and to Cheryl for plot and some wonderful brainstorming ideas. Technically, Barney didn't come out until 1992—but I fudged a bit—the idea was too good to pass up. Scarecrow and Mrs King is the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Enterprises and Barney is the property of the Lyons Partnership--no copyright infringement is intended. All other characters and situations are the copyrighted property of the author and may not be used without permission. Enjoy :) ***

**Of Paint and Purple Dinosaurs—Part One**

**4247 Maplewood Dr. **

**Saturday, September 14, 1991**

**8:45 AM **

The aroma of percolating coffee filled the kitchen, mixed with the smell of the bacon sizzling in the pan. Lee took the still-warm English muffins from the toaster, spreading them with butter which immediately melted; filling in all the little crevices. Bright sunshine spilled in through the blue curtains, filling the room with light.

It was going to be a beautiful day. He whistled a little tune to himself as he set the plates and silverware on the table. Next came the juice glasses—he placed those on the table. Opening the fridge Lee retrieved a pitcher of orange juice and turned to walk back towards the table.

That was when he collided with something—something soft and squishy which slid under his foot. Lee grabbed the edge of the counter—just managing to steady himself. The orange juice wasn't so lucky though—the pitcher he was holding tilted slightly. He watched as the cold sticky liquid sloshed over the sides of the pitcher and splattered onto the floor.

"Damn!" Placing the pitcher on the countertop Lee reached for the paper towels.

"Hello, friend!"

The sickeningly cheerful greeting came from the floor—in fact in came from the object he'd just stepped on. . Lee stared down at the purple and green creature underfoot—the creature stared back up at him with large friendly eyes. Jenna must have left this down here last night, he thought. With a sigh, he bent down to pick the thing up.

"Please give me a hug!"

"Like hell I will." Lee muttered.

"Honestly!"

Dotty's voice startled him. Lee turned as his mother in law came in through the back door, gardening basket in one gloved hand and pruning shears in the other.

"You wouldn't believe how warm it is out there already," she said. "I wish the weather would just pick one thing and stick to—" her voice faded away as she took in Lee and the orange juice on the floor. "What happened?"

"Fine," Lee replied. "Just a little accident, that's all."

Dotty placed her tools on the counter. "I see. And where did Barney come in?"

"Well, I guess I kind of slipped on him," Hastily Lee placed the stuffed dinosaur on Jenna's high-chair tray. "I was walking and I guess I just didn't pay—"

"Hugs are stu-u-pendous!" Barney's voice filled the room—if he didn't know any better, he'd swear the thing was possessed. Lee glared balefully at the object, daring it to say just one more word—one more obnoxious phrase and he'd—

"Oh, Lee." Dotty's shoulders shook with silent laughter—she covered her mouth with one hand. "I'm sorry, really—it's just the look on your face just now was—here, I'll mop the floor and you can finish breakfast."

"Thanks," Lee turned back towards the bacon. Not burnt, thank goodness, just lightly crispy. Using the spatula, he transferred the bacon slices onto a plate.

"You don't usually cook breakfast," Dotty commented, dipping the mop in the bucket.

"Not usually, no." Lee said. To be honest, he didn't even usually eat much of it, though both Amanda and Dotty were trying their damndest to get him into the habit. "But since Amanda's giving Jenna a bath this morning I thought I'd help. Would you like a plate?"

Dotty shook her head. "No, I had something earlier this morning—I'm fine. I will take some coffee though." Grabbing a mug she poured some, adding some sugar and creamer. "Didn't Jenna have her bath last night?"

"Yes she did—but sometime during the night she climbed out of her crib and broke into the markers."

"The markers?" Dotty repeated as she ran the mop over the floor. "Magic markers? You mean she—"

Lee nodded. "All over her walls and all over herself too," he said. "So, after breakfast we're going to go and get paint for her walls and buy her a big girl bed."

"Good idea. Jenna's getting too way too big for that crib."

"Yeah, and she said she wanted to help me paint—which hopefully should teach her a lesson about drawing on the walls in the future," Lee replied. "Though what she drew was actually pretty creative—I'm going to have to take a camera up there before we paint."

"I bet—I'll have to take a look myself later on."

"You should—it's really something." Lee placed the now-cooled bacon slices and the English muffins on both his and Amanda's plates. Usually he'd make a plate for Jamie too, but since Jamie had spent the night at a friend's house there was no telling when he'd be home. He filled the juice glasses with what remained of the orange juice and placed those on the table. Coffee came next—he placed cream in both mugs and a little bit of sugar in Amanda's.

"Please give me a hug!"

Barney again. Luckily this time Lee didn't manage to spill anything.

"Lee, relax," Dotty told him. "It does that automatically."

"I know," Lee said, a little too quickly. Still, he watched the doll warily out of the corner of his eye, not sure what it would do next.

Moving over to the cabinet Lee pulled down Jenna's plastic Barney plate—the matching Barney bowl and her double-handled Barney sippy cup. Even Jenna's little spoon had a Barney handle. Everywhere he turned that purple dinosaur was there—books, toys, videos— was he a terrible father if he admitted that the thought of Barney didn't exactly thrill him? He had seen plenty of children's programs with Jenna—even enjoyed a few—but for some reason this one seemed to get to him. Lee poured some orange juice into Jenna's sippy cup, refastening the purple lid tightly. Then, taking the box of cheerios, he poured some in the bowl, taking some slight satisfaction in covering that dinosaur's smiling face.

"Here we are," Amanda announced as she entered the kitchen, Jenna in her arms. "All clean now."

"Well, good." Lee's lips met Amanda's in a brief yet passionate kiss. "Good morning, Mrs. Stetson."

"All clean, Daddy—see?" Jenna repeated, holding out her arms and hands.

"Yeah, I see that, munchkin." Lee kissed his daughter's forehead, thanking God that the markers were washable. "You do look very nice."

Amanda put Jenna into her highchair and belted her in; Lee placed the cup and bowl in front of her. He didn't put any milk in the cereal—Jenna preferred to eat hers dry.

"Bawney!" Immediately Jenna reached for her stuffed doll, hugging it close. .

"You're super dee-duper!" The doll cried out.

"I super-dee-duper," Jenna said proudly.

"Yes you definitely are, sweetheart," Amanda said.

"Are you getting a big girl bed today, Jenna?" Dotty asked.

"Uh-huh," Jenna grinned as she nodded. Still holding Barney in one hand, she picked up a cheerio with the other, popping it into her mouth. "I'm big now—big bed. And I det to paint walls—right?"

"Yes," Lee said. "You get to help Daddy paint the walls."

"I toose color?"

"That's right—you get to choose the color, munchkin," Lee took a bite of his English muffin, followed by a swig of coffee. "What color would you like?"

"Um—" Jenna was silent for a minute, thinking. "I want poople."

Purple—Lee was beginning to a bad feeling about this. "Why purple, munchkin?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual.

"Like Bawney, Daddy—'member?"

"Oh yeah, I remember." as if he was ever allowed to forget. He envisioned Jenna's bedroom with bright purple walls—like walking into a giant grape—

Or a giant dinosaur.

_'You did say she could choose the color,' _his inner voice reminded him mockingly. And looking over at the doll Lee could've sworn the damn thing was smirking. His eyes met Amanda's—he could tell she really wasn't excited by the prospect either.

"Sweetheart, when we get to the store we'll look at all the colors and see what we can do—okay?" Amanda said.

" 'kay Mommy." As Jenna shifted slightly in her high-chair the Barney doll fell to the floor.

"Ooops—Bawney fall. Daddy, pease?"

"I'll get him for you, munchkin." Lee rose from his chair and retrieved the stuffed dinosaur.

"Please give me a hug!" The third time that thing had said it.

"Hug, Daddy," Jenna urged. "Hug Bawney!"

Lee hesitated.

"Go on, Daddy," Amanda told him, a smile spreading across her features.

Amanda, Jenna—even Dotty—they were all watching him closely, waiting—letting out his breath in a quiet sigh, Lee hugged Barney close.

"You're super-dee-duper!"

**TBC **


	2. Chapter 2

***The usual disclaimers apply. Thanks to Annette for the initial idea and to Cheryl for plot and some wonderful brainstorming ideas. Technically, Barney didn't come out until 1992—but I fudged a bit—the idea was too good to pass up. Scarecrow and Mrs King is the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Enterprises and Barney is the property of the Lyons Partnership--no copyright infringement is intended. All other characters and situations are the copyrighted property of the author and may not be used without permission. Enjoy :) ***

**Of Paint and Purple Dinosaurs—Part Two**

**Saturday, September 14, 1991**

**10:00 AM**

"Daddy, sing!"

"Daddy's driving, munchkin," Lee told her. It was hard enough to concentrate on the road while listening to that tape playing at nearly full volume.

"If you're happy and know it 'tamp your feet," Jenna sang. "If you're happy and know it 'tamp your feet, 'tamp 'tamp!" Jenna kicked her car seat for emphasis.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to actually stamp," Amanda told her.

"If happy and know it face will surely sow it," Jenna continued to sing cheerfully, not caring if she missed or even mangled a few words in the process.

Lee ran a hand back through his hair, blowing out his breath in a whoosh. They'd played this about a thousand times now—hadn't she gotten tired of it yet? He pulled the Taurus up to a stoplight. A man in a convertible pulled up beside him—young and good-looking, a blond woman cuddled next to him—rock music blasting from his radio—Lee could remember a time when that used to be him.

Then he glanced over at his beautiful wife seated beside him. Looking in the mirror, Lee could see their daughter in the backseat, dark eyes shining as she sang.

Suddenly he didn't envy that other guy at all.

"Pease Daddy—pease sing with me?" Jenna's tone was plaintive. Lee gave an inward groan as the all-too-familiar tune filled the car.

Might as well. Taking another deep breath Lee started to sing. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family—" Amanda's hand reached over, taking his free hand and giving it a squeeze. "With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too."

**SMK SMK SMK SMK **

**Lowe's Home Improvement**

**Alexandria, VA **

**10:30 AM **

"Jenna, just look at this color okay?" Amanda knelt beside Jenna, her arm around her as she showed her the color sheet. "See the lavender—now that's a really beautiful color, don't you think? And it would make your room look so pretty."

"Want poople, Mommy," Jenna's voice quavered. "Bawney." Her little finger jabbed at the bright purple. "Want dis."

"Sweetheart, lavender is poople—I mean, purple," Amanda told her. "It's just a little lighter, that's all."

"No, poople! Poople!" Jenna's voice rose slightly, echoing throughout the store. Lee and Amanda exchanged glances. Jenna didn't throw fits very often but when she did—

"Hey, munchkin," Lee knelt on the other side of Jenna. "What do you say that we get the lavender for your paint and then we can get other Barney stuff to go with your big girl room, huh?"

Jenna's eyes grew wide. "Bawney 'tuff?" She repeated.

"Sure," What the hell was he saying? At this rate he'd never be able to get that purple dinosaur out of their lives. "Lots of Barney stuff. Listen, we can get a Barney lamp, Barney bedspread—even Barney sheets."

'Crazy—I must be crazy for even thinking this—'

"Bawney seets? Weally?"

"That's right." Lee told her. "Barney sheets. You can have Barney everything, munchkin—we just need to pick this lighter color right here for the walls. Okay?"

Jenna smiled. "'Kay Daddy."

**SMK SMK SMK SMK **

**Bed Bath and Beyond **

**11:20 AM **

'Oh you are special, special, everyone is special…' the song kept looping through Lee's mind —he didn't seem to be able to get it out of his head. Amanda stared at him curiously.

"What is it?" He asked.

"You were humming."

"Humming—" Oh God—and Lee hadn't even realized. What if he ended up doing that at work? Francine had once given him flak about singing the Winnie the Pooh song—if she ever caught him singing Barney songs he'd never hear the end of it.

"Okay," the salesman said as he led them into the back corner of the store. "This is our kid and toddler range. We also have bunk beds if you're interested. "

"No bunk beds," Lee told him. "Just regular beds."

"That's fine sir," the salesman replied. "Well, here you have just a standard twin bed—removable side rails, of course. And then over here you have the Disney Princess bed—that's very popular with the little girls."

"But I'm not little," Jenna insisted stoutly, looking up at them. "I'm big."

"Sweetheart, of course you are." Amanda said.

"We know you're big, munchkin," Lee told her. "Just be quiet now."

"'Kay."

"And over here is our Sesame Street Monster bed," the salesman continued. "Which also comes with the standard—"

"Monsters?" At that word Jenna shrank back against Lee. "No monsters."

"But the monsters in Sesame Street are friendly," Lee reminded her.

"That's right," Amanda added. "Remember Grover? And then there's Cookie Monster, and Elmo—lots of nice monsters." Jenna just kept shaking her head.

"No monsters, daddy—no."

"Okay, we won't get a monster bed." But even with his reassurances Jenna kept her distance from the bed, dark eyes fearful—as if she expected a monster to jump from underneath at any moment.

"Any other beds?" He asked the salesman. "Any—" he lowered his voice, not wanting Jenna to hear in case the answer was no. "Barney beds?"

"Any what beds, sir?" The salesman asked.

"Barney." Lee said, slightly louder this time.

Now the salesman looked confused. "I didn't quite hear—"

"Barney!"

Now everybody heard—passersby stopped to stare—Lee felt the heat rising in his face.

"Oh, Barney," the salesman said as comprehension dawned.

"Bawney?" Jenna repeated.

"Unfortunately we don't have a Barney bed," the salesman replied. "However, we do have Barney sheets, curtains, bedspreads—everything for your Barney needs."

"Yay!" Jenna cried out.

The salesman's grin widened. "If you'll just follow me, please—"

**SMK SMK SMK SMK **

**4247 Maplewood Dr. **

**4:45 PM **

"That's the last of it," Lee placed the roller back in the tray. "I can't actually believe we got it all done."

"Yeah, well, we all pitched in together," Amanda replied. "You and me, Mother and Jamie—even Jenna helped."

"She was very helpful." Lee stared down at the newly assembled bed where his daughter now lay, thumb stuck in her mouth, sprawled across her new Barney bedspread. Lee's old Virginia Phys Ed t-shirt covered her small body completely—the shirt itself now dotted with dried lavender paint. Bending down he lifted her slightly, folding down the Barney sheet and bedspread so he could place her underneath the covers and tuck her in. Jenna stirred slightly but didn't awaken.

Good night, sweetheart," Amanda's hand brushed Jenna's cheek. Bending down, Lee kissed her forehead.

"Love you, munchkin," he whispered.

"It does look nice, doesn't it?" Amanda said. "I think the lavender was a good color choice."

"Yeah, it was." Lee agreed. Only one thing marred the occasion—and as he turned his head he could see it just about everywhere.

That large eternally grinning dinosaur.

It smiled at him from the curtains, the dresser, Jenna's bedspread—the lamp, her nightlight—even her new wastepaper basket was dotted with images of Barney. The compromise they'd made so they wouldn't have to paint the room that horrible purple grape color, Lee thought—had it been worth it after all?

"Oooh—I am so sore," Dotty walked into the room, rubbing her shoulder with her hand. "And I'm a mess. I think I'm going to soak in a nice warm bubble bath, have my milk with Galliano and hit the sack early. You did get the Galliano, right?"

"Oh mother," Amanda put her hand over her mouth. "We're so sorry—we completely forgot. Lee?"

"Yeah, I'll go get some," Lee replied, he bent down, his lips meeting Amanda's briefly—with the promise of more to come later on.

"I'll be back soon, Mrs. Stetson," he told her. Leaving Jenna's room he went downstairs.

"You're stu-u-pendous!" The Barney doll cried out.

"Very funny, Jamie," Lee replied.

As Lee went out the door he could hear his stepson's laughter.

**SMK SMK SMK SMK **

Lee whistled as he came out of the ABC store, Galliano in one bag and a bottle of champagne in another. He and Amanda could have their own little celebration later tonight, he thought; a nice dinner, maybe a little champagne—and from there on, who knew? Still musing over the possibilities, he got into the Taurus and started the engine, when his eyes fell on a white cassette in the passenger's seat.

What could it be? Lee turned the cassette over in his hands. He couldn't make out the words on the cassette casing—much too blurry. A little traveling music certainly wouldn't hurt. Lee popped the tape in as he put the minivan into drive and pulled away from the curb.

"I love you, you love me—we're a happy—"

"No—oh no." Pulling up to a stoplight, Lee ejected the tape and tossed it out the window into the street. He watched with grim satisfaction as the thing was crushed under the wheels of the bus in the next lane.

But then Lee pictured Jenna—the smile on her face when she sang—the way her eyes lit up.

Her eyes—looking up at him—so much like Amanda's eyes.

Next he pictured the expression on his daughter's face if he had to tell her what had happened to her cassette.

Lee knew exactly what he had to do.

Swearing softly under his breath he made a legal u-turn at the next intersection, heading in the direction of the music store.

**The End **


End file.
